


Gentleman Gato and the Garlean Panty Raid

by Rodie



Series: The Saga of Gentleman Gato [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Botnik-Generated, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodie/pseuds/Rodie
Summary: The first part of the legendary Gentleman Gato Saga, written by computers that have read too much FFXIV fanfiction.
Series: The Saga of Gentleman Gato [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203932
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Gentleman Gato and the Garlean Panty Raid

**Author's Note:**

> What started as an in-joke based on the FFXIV in-game fashion contest spiraled into this AI-driven and generated fiction of some buttery taste.
> 
> Botnik was used for this particular chapter, with a database built from 40+ other FFXIV fanfics initially, and a character profile for the titular Gentleman Gato. Please look forward to nonsense!

There wasn't another manor like it in all of Ishgard. Alphinaud Leveilleur briefly flicked a few specks of snow from his shoulders, while Lyse's lips curled sheepishly into a nervous smile. "Y'shtola demanded a way to permanently destroy Ascian souls, not poison the recruits with bad RNG." She hurried to the infirmary on the western side, heading towards Haurchefant as he lay awake and wondered why on earth a primal would even bother summoning a mount. Alphinaud blamed himself for everything as usual. He briefly considered buying a cat, but he was allergic. 

"Gentleman Gato knows you wish others be honest about splitting treasure. Perhaps they already had two weapons to begin with. This may also be your perspective on adventuring anyway. Not even Gentleman Gato can change this."

Gentleman Gato was both a gentleman and a cat. He was there, just as suddenly as his namesake implied. And he was a gentleman. We know this because his pressed suit was still warm.

Alphinaud drew back in fear, as he was already getting grumpier by the second. Cats gave him an awkward rash. "I see. But uhm... Why are you telling me this? Commander Hext needs to speak her mind, but - "

The doors to Fortemps Manor slammed open, and the Garlean Empire ran inside. "Surrender your Elezen boys!" screamed the woman in front of the troops. 

Gentleman Gato wishes he had a stick to make the soldiers disappear. But then again, to do so would only make a dragon mad. He would have to keep up appearances for now. For now. 

The Garleans had the upper hand, but there was Alphinaud to take the crystal and run. Good. That was a smart move. He tripped. That was not. 

The crystal laughed at the scion's foolishness. "Y'shtola snorted my essence. You cannot hope to be as high as her, mortal." 

The crystal was wrong. Gentleman Gato leapt through Ishgard with a manly glare and crushed a house beneath his potential. The soldiers looked guiltily at each other as they actually wanted to ask for a time out. The strongest of the primals would not give them one, despite his golden gentleman heart. 

“Gentleman Gato loves horses. The horses will be spared.”

They were not. It was not his fault.

There was a commotion and sudden movements and a very loud yelp as the doors to Fortemps Manor slammed open. The empire's commander ran out, Ser Aymeric de Borel slung over her shoulder, as she smirked with glee. "He actually fancies a miqo'te he works with. But this butt is now mine!"

Gentleman Gato's scorn was featured on his eyes and his naked chest. Society collapsed nearby as he flexed his whiskers with great purpose. Skipping mechanics entirely, he soared through the air. Referencing his lack of sweetrolls with a guttural cry, the commander felt awkward as a dollop of frosting fell from the sky and hit her neck. It was cream cheese frosting. There was no cupcake attached. It was a grave insult that would not go unanswered. 

Why Y'shtola was getting bigger was a mystery. One that would be addressed in "Gentleman Gato Two: The Gates of Mhigo." And so ends the story for now.


End file.
